Divorce in Turkey – know your rights
July 16, 2008 12:13 pm Other News
Divorce Diva looks into the laws of divorce in Turkey, if you’re not Turkish and married to a Turkish man we will do out best to explain how to sue for divorce and how custody and alimony are handled in Turkey’s legal system.
You should firstly find out if Turkish Law will apply for your divorce, if you obtained Turkish citizenship during the time of your marriage you will be subject to Turkish law. Turkish law will also apply to your divorce if you, as a couple, used to reside in Turkey. We suggest you look into the Turkish International Private and Procedures Law (No. 2675). As Article 13.
In both cases, the respective legal body containing regulations governing “divorce and separation” is the Turkish Civil Code (No. 4721).
Either you or your husband can file for divorce on the grounds that the other has committed adultery (Article 161), abuse (Article 162) or a humiliating crime (Article 163). Also, if one of the parties left home or developed a severe mental illness, the other spouse may open a court case for a divorce (Articles 164 and 165). However, the widest area of grounds for opening divorce cases is the reason of “irretrievable breakdown of marriage” (Article 166), which covers all the other issues that tend to lead to divorce.
Divorce is normally filed by the party who is less guilty in the breakdown of the marriage, if the spouse at greater fault does not want the divorce the case may be thrown out of court. If the couple have not reconciled and resumed living together within three years of the first application it will be picked up again by the court.
In the event that you do file for divorce you will always need to hire an lawyer who will start the divorce proceedings for you. Your embassy will provide you with a list of Turkish lawyers/attorneys who speak your language.
The next stage is not great, any declarations made in court to lay out the grounds of divorce have to be proven with accordance with Turkish Law, which means you, your spouse and witnesses have to report about the status of your marriage. Reports, letters, sound and visual recordings may be used as evidence for this.
In some cases if you don’t want to appear in court, your case can be heard with your being there, as long as both sides agree on issues such as the custody of the children and financial matters.
It is the judge’s decision if you divorce or separate, if the judge feels there is a chance of your reconciling they can give you a period of one to three years of separation before the final decision to grant a divorce is reached.
Although, if the marriage has lasted for at least one year and you both agree to a divorce, there should be no further problems. The judge will listen to both sides and approve the agreement reached by the parties regarding the custody of the children and financial affairs. However, he can by law change make changes to these arrangements. If both parties consent to these changes, the divorce is granted.
Custody and alimony
The courts also rule on child custody and alimony issues in divorce cases in Turkey. Luckily over the last few years the Turkish Civil Code has undergone some decisive changes that have helped to improve the legal position of women enormously. Women for Women’s Human Rights (WWHR) have prepared some very useful publications on this topic.
The custody of the children will be granted to whichever parent the judge believes will look after the child better, although, the spouse who has not been awarded custody will still have to share the financial burden of bringing up the children, depending on their financial means. The courts will also rule on his or hers visitation rights, depending but if the grounds for the divorce are violent conduct or a dishonorable lifestyle on the part of one of the spouses, these rights will be restricted.
If you are not at greater fault in the divorce, and you find yourself in a difficult financial position, the other side will have to give a single lump sum or periodically to meet the cost of living for an indefinite period of time (article 176). The payments will also depend on what the other party can afford at the time of going to court. If the recipient remarries the payments will stop automatically.
A divorced woman in Turkey is not allowed to legally remarry within 300 days of the date of divorce, except in permission is obtained in court. If you obtained Turkish citizenship during the course of the marriage, you will go on being a Turkish citizen. However, if you only have a resident permit, you may have to give it back or, at least, change it to another “reason for visit.”
Are you going through a divorce with a Turkish man? Or any other foreigner? Share your stories with Divorce Diva and help thousands of other women who could be going through the same traumas you are facing.
November 24th, 2008 at 8:55 am
I just moved recently wıth my husband and chld to Turkey. We had already problems ın my native country and I was thinking he just had a hard time adapting himself to our lifestyle. So, liking Turkey very much, I decided to give it a try here. Having his friends around would make his frustration outbursts less I thought. Boy, what am I wrong. Its like I am reliving the worst of our 5 years in my country here within two months. He has a huge alcoholproblem which he denies of course. He stopped drinking for a few months before we went here. It was an appetızer as to how good ıt could be I think. I trusted him (afterall we have been marrıed for 5 years), so the money of the house we sold we putted on his account sınce a foreıgner without a VAT nr you cant open a bank acount (he told me) Wıthın these two months he started drinking again even more then before (he already lost his driver license because of ıt) When he comes home he starts callıng me names, sometimes hitting me, last night he even spitted on me. I am really determined to leave. I just dont know how to. He has all our money and
December 21st, 2008 at 9:09 am
Kim,
I also lived your issues with my ex. Get out now. Find a job and move out asap. You have to take the power of your life back. Also, if you are not careful you could lose the custody of your child since you are not a Turkish citizen. Please take care of yourself and find some finacial independence asap.
January 9th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
It says on your site a “A divorced woman in Turkey is not allowed to legally remarry within 300 days of the date of divorce, except in permission is obtained in court.” What about a divorced man?
January 16th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
where do you start in getting a devorce to a turkish man. we have been married nearly a year. have a son of 2. we had a civil wedding in turkey. we are living in england now at my parents. he has a 2 year multi entre spouse visa. please help x
January 18th, 2009 at 1:55 am
HI – I was reading this site about how to get divorced under Turkish law. I live in NZ and was married in 1996 and left the relationship in 2001 – and I divorced him in NZ in 2003. Now I have to go through the laborious process of getting divorced AGAIN in Turkey. I was quoted $8,000USD by some shark woman in Ankara and don’t know what to do next.
Of course, being a passive aggressive Turkish male, he won’t make this process easier.
We have a daughter she is 12.
I wish I had never entered into this formality, it’s like a millstone around my neck.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Message for Julie, you do hold some power, if he is on a 2 year multi entry visa, he will need to prove he is living with you for those 2 years in either your own home or rented before they will grant him a permanat visa. I’ve just gone through this with my husband. We married in Turkey and reside in my home, I drew up a pre-nuptual agreement and ensured he signed to agree he would not try to claim half of my house, my house is in my name only and I still pay the mortgage from my own account. I did take legal advise before I married my husband. But even still we are having cultural difficulties 3 years on, he is poor at communicating not speaking english but expressing and talking about issues and whilst he is generally good, hard working man we are having our problems. Like me you had a civil wedding in Turkey which means you will need to appoint a solicitor to give power of attorny to a Turkish solicitor who will sort out devorce proceedings. You can also contact the british consulate in Turkey for further advise. But you are not in a bad position, he does not have the right to stay here in the UK yet and you could inform the consulate that you suspect his intentions are not honorable. This reporting would probably not result in a successful permanent visa application and he would have to return to his country. You could then apply for divorce or stay seperated for 3 years. But you do have options. But think long and hard before you help him secure any further visa applications. I am lucky in that my husband comes from a modern day Turkish family all his sisters are business women and in fact my husband is the one family member that has done the least with his career, but he has proved himself here in the UK and is making a career for himself. But our 3 year marriage has not been without difficulties.
February 23rd, 2009 at 1:22 pm
For anyone having terrible abuse problems or alcohol problems my heart goes out to you. Your road may not be easy and you have quite a fight on your hands, all I can say is find a weak spot of theirs and try to use it as a tool to negotiate your way out. So ask what they want from you? Remember the consulates are always there to assist you and advise you. But if you are in a really bad place I would suggest leaving him and returning to your home country and remain seperated, think about the divorce once you have rebuilt your life and got your strength back, but certainly do not stay in a relationship that is fueld by abuse or alcohol.
April 9th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
my turkish husband has our wedding certificate and wont give it to me so i can divorce him. does anyone know how i can get a copy of this certificate? we married in Antalya
April 30th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Havıng gone and goıng through a complete nıghtmare wıth my Turkısh husband and on the road to dıvorceI would recommend four thıngs, a TRUSTWORTHY solıcıtor, ( I took one from the recommended Brıtısh Consulate lıst) he dıd vırtually nothıng but advıse me to leave my abusıve marraıge whıch left me on the streetsx2
thankfully I have found a straıght talkıng, actıon one ın Istanbul. Frıends you can trust and wıll back you all the way, one of my so caled frıends and wıtness dıd a bunk on the mornıng of the fırst hearıng and others just treated my dreadful sıtuatıon lıke another epısode of a soap opera. True frıends came to me ın Istanbul both Brıtısh and Turkısh and wıthout them I more lıkely would be dead( I joke not).
Money, get out of your sıtuatıon wıth a pathetıc abuser, get back on track and start the dosh rollıng ın.
Lastly, a heart of STEEL and the courage and guts of a major warrıor. You are the most IMPORTANT person, only you know the sıtuatıon you have had to tolerate and YOU are a WINNER.
Tough, tough, tough and don’t lısten to any whınnıng ‘ I love you so much aşkım.’ Love ıs NOT screamıng abuse, hıttıng, kıckıng,spıttıng, throwıng food over your loved one, stealıng money, countıng your famıly and male frıends as No 1, stayıng out all nıght, drınkıng or takıng drugs, lockıng love one ın house demandıng 50% of theır assets at knıfe poınt, not provıdıng hardly any food….yeah all thıs but I’ve stay strong even stronger now I lıve ın fantastıc Istanbul, tomorrow I move ınto the a new state-of-the-art apartment wıth one of the frıends that helpt me, I’ve been ınvıted to start a lıttle Theatre school( I am a Drama wallah) and a group of ındependent fılm-makers have asked me to help organıse a fılm festıval ın September….not bad for a lady who walked out away from abuser husband and grım sıster wıth only the clothes I stood up ın. plastıc bag wıth pass-port/marrıage papers, my ever faıthful Staffy Bull Terrıer and enough to buy a one way tıcket to Istanbul.My husband has settled hımself ın my property( mıne before marrıage)and whıtters away not workıng because he thınks he has claım on my home and muganda frıends encourage hım ın thıs stupıdıty.
If there ıs any woman out there ın a sımılar sıtuatıon…get out
whatever way you can..Turkey ıs a a fıne country..fınd ıt ın your own rıght and start lıvıng.
When my dıvorce ıs through and I have gaıned my property and assets back I would lıke to start a support-lınk for women ın Turkey havıng theır lıfe serıously messed around by some ın adequate…lets fınd the good lawyers, lınk up the rıght people, put pressure on the Brıtısh Consulate to gıve more support to women ın sımılar sıtuatıons, possıbly locate safe places, ıt has to happen
please respond and contact.Alex
April 30th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Hello Everyone
I have a question that was not covered in this website. I am American and I just married a Turkish man Jan 9th 2009. I had to come back to USA I couldn’t live in Turkey to many cultural differences. I loved the country it was a beautiful place to visit but I don’t speak Turkish and he speaks English so you can imagine how hard it is for me to be there depending on him for everything because it seemed no one spoke English. Getting back to my question what would be the easiest way to end the marriage when it is less then a year and no citizenship was taken? He is not working, I am not working (fixed income) because of injury in my lower back. He said he would help me with doing what I needed to do to get better to have the surgery I need to end this pain, he knew everything before we got married but now he is drinking & lying to me I hear it in his voice how he talks I spent 2 weeks of hell in Mersin watching him drinking. How he would be angry when I said no I don’t want to do what he asked for. when he wasnt drinking he was so wonderful to be with… like a fool I forgave him he said he would change and that it was just his family that gets him depressed where he feels he needs to drink but now he is no longer around his family and he is still drinking. I just want to end this marriage .. I cant support him any more. I cant tolerate his drinking and lying. He don’t call unless I send him money.I need a way out! I never took Turkish citizenship I did become Muslim officially in Turkey. I am known there as Aminah(emine) but I don’t think that would affect the divorce. To divorce him I was told just have to believe it in my heart and say I divorce you 3 times… still researching that. I was there for 67 days then came home in the end of February. I been home for 2 months but in that short time I learned to hate him so much He would sale my jewelery just so he could drink and buy cigarettes. And he asked me why I wont return to Turkey. Currently he is still not working and he is drinking. What can I do PLEASE anyone hope
July 26th, 2009 at 9:53 am
am an Egyptian mother of a boy who was born in Turkey from a turkish father, we were both married an uncertified marriage in egypt (marriage recognised in Egypt), We now left each other and I was sent back to my country.
In my baby’s certificate in Egypte, he carries the name of his father and family name but we were told that we don’t have the rights to inherit nor ask for child support because my son’s rights from his father do not exist in Turkey.So, please tell me what am I supposed to do???
I hired a lawyer in Turkey and he betrayed me after taking my money, I have a lawyer in Egypt as well but I hardly know what to do!!!
July 28th, 2009 at 1:35 am
ı have a questıon..i am american and have been marrıed almost 20 yrs.we were married here in america and we moved to Turkey 3yrs after we were married.İ have my marriage papers in turkey also.. i had been in Turkey for 17yrs.İ left him and came to the states in aug 2008 and took my 2 younger children(10 and 12) and my oldest stayed there because she was in college.now she is here too (she is 18)…İ have started the divorce here.how do i go about the divorce there in Turkey????and will they grant him my kids because i left him ..does it make me look bad because i am the one that walked out????
August 7th, 2009 at 2:08 am
god love us all. they are so charming, but here i sit today, penniless, homeless and carless. 9 years ago we met and married. i thought he was wonderful, yeah, a wonderful actor. when i got cancer and stopped work, he started filtering money over to turkey, remortgages the house to the hilt to buy land in mugla (for me to retire and relax in)! huh. now i am a sensible business woman..he left me for our cleaner…and does not look back. all i can say is ‘take a bow’ what horrible people . i am so sorry i stepped off the plane.
August 9th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Alex, how can I get in touch with you? I am going through the same ordeal, only I have two children, which makes the situation even more difficult.
I have also thought that there is a definite need for a support organization which could help foreign women who are in trouble because of their abusive turkish husbands.
I am also wondering if there are turkish women organizations which provide assistance to abused women.
August 11th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
Hi everyone. I was married to my husband for five years when he left for no reason and we had a son together. He has a british passport so he can go where he wants. That was four years ago and i have no contact with him and i don’t know where he lives so how can i divorce him when i don’t even have an address for him. I heard that if you have been separated for three years it is easier to divorce is this true. If someone has been in the seem situation i would really like to know what they did PLEASE. Thankyou.
August 11th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I wish i had never married a turkish man now i can’t even get a divorce.
September 8th, 2009 at 9:59 pm
To explain you better. Our relationship was good except for his alcohol problems. Since he was such a great guy i helped him to get over his addiction and once he was recovered he decided to end our relationship. In this 8 years we only bought one car which he crashed because he was drunk. I went to my country for vacation and he didnt have money to send me back to Turkey so after one year he got tired and finished with me by phone. Now he wants the divorce.What should i do? I am lost ? please help me!
September 21st, 2009 at 8:46 pm
on reading many comments of so many who are going through a tough time with turkish men i would like to say all of them will give you promises of love love and love what they really mean is give me every thing you have and then they will treat you with disrespect they take everything for a visa my advice is dont trust them i have been married for five years he has wife and son in turkey and goes to see them without me am i happy with this no he told me he had sex with her and wants to keep us both i have no children by him and im getting out i say to all be careful every turkish man has a wife in turkey i will never be allowed to go with him to turkey as there would be problems he say
September 29th, 2009 at 9:24 am
we are a british married couple living in north cyprus TRNC and have just seperated after 8yrs of marriage. My wife has decided to seperate us on incompatability grounds, my question is how do I stand on the financial side if I apply for divorce here, namely is she entitled to anything of our house in the UK (which I am deciding wheather to sign the deeds over to my son so it is not an asset)but the mortgage is in my name only. Also I get 2 military pensions 1 before we met the other a year after, is she entitled to any of these.
thanks.
September 29th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
message for Alex. I refer to your message back in April. I would love to start up a support group for women who are struggling before/through/after divorce in Turkey. I have been going through a really nasty divorce in Turkey for over 4 years and is still on going. He has money and assets but claims to be a poor guy struggling. Look forward to hearing from you.
November 29th, 2009 at 9:16 am
hi my name is natalie i ahve been married now 2 years to a turkish man i speack flunt turkish and have stayed in turkey alot i have just come back home to the uk and i really dont ever wont to go back to my husband again how i stayed 2 years with a animal i will never know the things he done the things he said god it sumthing u see in a film i just really wont him gone for ever but i never wont to go back to turkey to see him i got a home over there but he can have it i dont wont it i just wont my life back i brought the house for 15000 in the village were he is fromm adiyaman but really i dont wont it i wont a devorce asap is there anyway i can do it from the uk ? please help me
January 2nd, 2010 at 11:35 am
im in the process of being divorced from a turkish man, we were married for 14 yrs we both agree on the divorce and we have no children. he has a solicitor in turkey, and we have a court hearing in march, do i have to attened, can the divorce be granted without me being there, do i need a solicitor,in turkey, how much would it cost,and what is the proceedure
January 24th, 2010 at 11:56 pm
alex…its funny that my nightmare´s name is the same as yours.thank you for your tips.can you please give the name of your solicitor-lawyer.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
i am married to a turkish cypriot man that also has a british passport and a turkish passport. can he marry a turkish girl without divorcing me first?
March 10th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
ohh i should also say we married in the uk
March 26th, 2010 at 4:11 pm
hi. i am canadian. 10 years ago, when i was 18, i married an iranian man in turkey. we were both on vacation. i have not seen him since then and have not spoken to him close to that time as well. I also do not have any of the documents having been lost by a relative. i would like to get married now in canada and need to divorce him and don't know how..seeing as he lives in iran and i have no idea where. suggestions, please!!!!?
April 2nd, 2010 at 6:07 pm
I am British Citizen and I married my Turkish Husband 6 yrs ago in Turkey (civil wedding) we have recently moved to Turkey but my Husband constantly keeps leaving me for no reason, on his previous returns he explains he has usually spent the time with friends,…… This last time he has now been gone nearly 5 weeks (longest time ever) I dont know where he is stying, I am alone here in Turkey and feel I have no choice but to go back to the UK, I cannot live this way any longer…. I have spoken to UK lawyer who has advised me without the consent of a divorce from my Husband I will have no way of proceeding with a Divorce, and will have to wait for a period of 5 yrs before I can Divorce him without his consent….. Because I will be in the UK and he is still here in Turkey there will obvously be no contact or communication between us…. I understand that if my Husband wants to re-marry he will also need to get a Divorce in Turkey, My Question – İs it possible for my Husband to Divorce me within the next 5yrs without my consent to the Divorce….. There is no finances or property or children from the marriage….
April 22nd, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Well
All you are talking about divorcing a Turkish Man. For a change I am Turkish and was married with an English man for 8 years ( still married but), lived in UK for 6 years then move to Turkey 3 years ago and I have got pregnant last year, then he left me when I was 6 months pregnant for a younger girl! Now I have my boy, trying to srt my life, work hard to look after my boy and this man doesnt help at all, I dont even know where he lives! Still in Turkey with tourist visa and works with that too and probably with that girl, what I have is nothing. Doenst even come to see his child! So please lets sit back and think what we say! Turkish, English, Irish, American man is man! When it comes, doesnt matter if you are Turkish or English.
Thank you
May 10th, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I have been married over 5 years and we live in the UK with one child. My husband stays out all night several nights in a week – he goes to a local Turkish cafe and sits and plays cards until the early hours while I am home alone! He keeps saying ’sorry’ and that he’ll stop but I have run out of patience. I just don’t know what to do – stay and put up with it or call it a day??
May 12th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Cindy is there a way for me to contact you ? I am also having the same problem – Turkish husband who won't pay alimony and claims he's not working. I think it's impossible to prove he's able to pay. I tried finding info on the website Advice for non-muslim women but no luck. I'm yasemin on that website.
May 20th, 2010 at 12:33 am
im a british man and want divorced how do i go about it in turkey.im a turkish national now………..i have a child turkish also …we r both agreeing to divorce…i just wonder what the procedure is
.
May 22nd, 2010 at 3:36 pm
Are there any men out there whose Turkish wife is divorcing them?
May 24th, 2010 at 11:10 am
can someone please help me too. seems ım ın the same boat as you also. ı was marrıed to a turkısh man for 4years and ı left hım. we dıdnt have any kıds thankfully. he ıs stıll ın the uk and ım ın turkey. he has now hıs full brıtısh passport so can do what he wants but he wont sıgn the papers for me toget my kımlık even thou when we were seperated ı stıll helped hım get hıs passport
ın the tıme ın brıtaın we bought a house ın adana…. as ı dıdnt know anythıng that was goıng on ın turkısh ıt now turns out the house ıs ın hıs mothers name and there ıs nothıng ı can do about ıt he says.. ıs thıs true ıts lıke bangıng my head off a brıck wall
June 15th, 2010 at 12:03 pm
Do you have any idea how to get Turkish Passport?,, I'm married in a Turkish and i want to have turkish passport, so that i can enter anytime we want to go turkey. Can you send me the requirements?,,
June 23rd, 2010 at 4:30 pm
A different one here… but it's a Turkish guy who married an English woman in Turkey and it's she who is causing issues. Anyone know what can be done? They married 5 years ago and split up 4 years ago. She won't answer his solicitor to get divorced and he has no contact details for her. She banned solicitors from passing contact details on. She hates him because he left her, he could not take her mood swings and he left soon after they moved to the UK, he stayedin UK for a few years then went back to Turkey at the end of his visa. He really wants to divorce her, has signed any rights to their property away just so she will agree to a dviroce. But she continues to ignore his divorce requests. Any ideas what to do please? And how does it work in the UK.?. he's not sure if it was recorded here, how does he find out about that and will a divorce in Turkey automatically be a divorce in UK eyes? Thanks
June 23rd, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Claire – No. Polygamy is banned in Turkey, so he must get a divorce first.
June 29th, 2010 at 12:41 pm
hi im looking for some advice my sister who is english married a turkish man in turkey but things didnt work out for them, after they married in turkey she came back to uk and she hasn`t seen him since, she is now happly engaged and been with her new man for over 2 yrs now and i know her turkish husband is engaged too, to another english woman but my sister doesnt know how to devorce him and he is playing games says he will give me the info to pass on to my sister but hasn`t all my sister wants is to get rid and marry the lovely man she is with now!!! plz plz can any1 help!!!!!!! xxx
July 3rd, 2010 at 6:45 pm
I need some advise… I was married to a Turkish man for 5 and a half years. We have one son together. My X became a US citizen and also has a US Passport. I was never a citizen of turkey and neither is our child. Our divorce has just become final.
My X has been asking me to let him bring our son to Tukey for the summer. I told him no. I do want my son to know his family and his culture there in Turkey… but i'm affraid… I don't know what my rights are… I told my X that i would let him go if I was there and if he was on my passport… I'm so affraid that if i do go they the government will take him from me..
My X and I divorce because he was cheating on me… he had a girlfriend… he only worked his 1 job and expect me to work 2 take care of him, our kids, and house… he was always disrepectful and controlling and possesive… he never had a drinking problem and was never physically abusive… but he was verbally and emotionally abusive.. and he was very scarey when he was angry.
Please any help and advise would be greatly appreciated.
Tarah
July 8th, 2010 at 11:52 pm
Hey all, i just thought i’d mention that if your marriage took place in Turkiye but you are divorcing outwith there, you must also get a divorce in Turkiye. My scottish divorce is through (yipeeeeee
) and now just have to start the turkish one.
July 11th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
i did marry a turkish boy 1 year ago and he is cheating on me i would now like to divorce him i am in england living he lives in turkey could you please advice me how i go about doing it and what i have to do ? thank you
July 13th, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Tara whatever you do do not let your son go to Turkey- even in your custody- unless you are prepared to loose him to your ex-husband. You have no rights in Turkey. He can get citizenship, passport, custody etc. all without your knowledge or permission. He can do this under your very nose and you will not know it until you are prevented from leaving with your son. It may even be possible that he has already done so. I don't believe there is any legal protection in Turkey available to you to prevent this. Maybe your son can re-connect with his Turkish family when he is old enough to come and go on his own (I suggest 18) Try to get Turkish language lessons for your son so that he will be able to communicate with your ex and his family and fit in there in the future. Even in the best of families a Turkish upbringing can be ruinous for a boy and the educational system is a hellacious burden on any child/young adult. While it is a great loss to give up Turks, Turkish culture and especially family connection you risk costing him his mother, education, University preparedness,mental health and freedom if you let him go now. Encourage your son in competitive sports and competitive intellectual pursuits and anything that teaches him to respect authority and that also hones his negotiation skills especially wilth male peers in the meantime, he'll need them when he comes to Turkey and everyone will respect you for having prepared him. Hopefully there is a safe way for his Dad to to visit him in the U.S. but I would take every precaution including alerting port authorities that your son is at risk of parental abduction.
July 17th, 2010 at 9:35 pm
LİNA,
I have read this rather late. I am South African and live in Samsun. If you need a place to stay please come here untill you sort yourself out. My mail is kavrazkim2@yahoo.co.uk.
July 26th, 2010 at 8:43 pm
To those who responded to my post back in April 2009 & offered support to the suggestion of forming a group of those in dire situations through Turkish partners or spouse. Just looked before on site and see posts of interest. Back in UK but still no final divorce. I have come into contact with good people who were truly shocked at whats happening in Turkey. I am in London and have been granted interview with the Consulate at Turkish Consulate. Intend to burn his tail feathers and I will draw his attention to the plight of those posting Divorce Diva.Look out for those around who need some support or want to alert family or friends here in UK . I am creating new e-mail in next couple of days to post on DD.Thinking of you all over there.ALEX
July 26th, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Forgot, under no circumstances use one of the English speaking advocates on British Consulate web-site SECKIN ARKAN ANTALYA I rest my case. ALEX
August 5th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
I have a serious problem..I'm 21 and I got married to my Turkish Stepdad's nephew a year ago..we got together very quick and we rushed things and I stayed in Turkey with him for 3 months and then came back to England..whilst I was back in England I realised he was very controlling and paraniod and would check up on me constantly..he finally came to England end of February even though I told him not to because I didn't love him..
August 5th, 2010 at 3:50 pm
..and now I'm stuck with him living at my mum's house with me sleeping in another room because my mum and stepdad won't make him go back to Turkey even though Ive told them I want him to go back. I don't even talk to him because I now resent him being in the house with me. My stepdad and mum think I owe him his 2 year visa because I ended the marriage and my stepdad is very close to him.
I'm with someone else now and I'm currently pregnant with my first child which isn't my husband's but my new partner's which was concieved in May and we want to live together next year when the baby is born..my Husband and Parents know about all this but don't seem to care that it will be illegal for him to be here next year if I move out in Jan when the baby is born.
I want him to go back..I want to divorce him too and just be free of him but I feel so trapped and don't know what I can do..I'm scared that I could get in trouble for all this but if I report him for being here illegally my parents will hate me! Advice please!!!!!!!
August 14th, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Hi Alex. I am wanting to start divorcing my turkish husband for his abuse towards me and my 12 year old son, We married in turkey and he lived un the uk for 3 years, 2 years on spouse visa and 1 year on a so called business visa. I did not register our marriage in the uk, do i still have to divorce in the uk or just turkey? how do i go about divorcing this violent, theiving, abusive, untrustworthy gigalo?
August 14th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Hi Jade, bit confused with your parents. Why are they putting you thru all this? cant they see him for what he is? To me looks like he is only here for a visa, like most of them. You should move out and move on with your life and notify the Uk border that you are no longer together and let your parents deal with that.
August 29th, 2010 at 5:11 pm
I have been married to a Turkish man for 15 years and while we had our ups and downs in the UK we were alwaysa strong couple who had a lot of love for each other. However since moving back to Turkey (my idea) after the birth of my daughter things have steadily gone downhill. He has changed beyond recognition although he denies this and has become arrogant, disrespectful and emotionally abusive to me often in front of our children. I feel that there has been a power shift in our relationship because in the UK I had a good job, my own money , no kids and the house was in my name, here he has all the power, everything is in his name and I feel totally trapped. He critisises me constantly, tells me to shut up if I ever disagree with him or voice an opinion and threatans to take my kids off me. I think the only way out is to just take the kids and run, but he has British citizenship and he would probably find me. Any advice would be gratefully recieved.
August 30th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
i married a turkish man in turkey 2007.. he came to live in the uk january 2008… (i stayed 3 months during the winter in turkey while it was so cold).. we have since seperated ( june this year).. he never had no form of visa until he married me ( im a british citizen). he travelled to turkey to apparently visit his mum who was sick just after we seperated and now i have found out he has since got engaged to another girl… IM FUMING.. i have a new partner now who treats me with the love and respect he never did… but i realy feel that no way does he deserve british citizenship… and im going to do everything in my power to make sure he never gets it… as for everyone else on here. if any of you need any advice or help… please feel free to contact me…. ive got quite a lot of knowledge of it all…. good luck all lisa
September 17th, 2010 at 9:14 pm
I was married to a Turkish man for one year…I am a US citizen. Our marriage never got registered in US….I want to be divorced..How do I start proceedings…Let me know…No children…no assets to divide….Thank you
September 19th, 2010 at 10:18 pm
Hi Leigh hope you don't mind me contacting you. I also divorced my Turkish husband here in Scotland but now have to start the Turkish divorce. I have no idea what to do, i went to a solicitor but he wasn't any help can you give me some advice please?
Take care
Alison
September 25th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
can any one tell me if you can get re married within 300 days , I was married in England to a English man and have got divorced. I want to get married to a Turkish man in December within 300 days . I have spoken with a solicitor in Izmir who said they never check and it will be ok to get married. Can some tell me if this is true???
October 3rd, 2010 at 12:40 am
hı ı am married wıth a turkish man and living in turkey, our marriage is very volatile and abusive, i want to leave and return to England, we have 1 child a son, i want to take my son away from hıs father can somebody tell me do i have any rights to take our son home to England or does my husband have any rights to have custody of him in turkey, i am not a turkish citizen, please can somebody advise me
October 4th, 2010 at 1:08 pm
I live a similar life (but fortunately still in England) – as my husband has become more settled here, the criticising etc has started (like you) and I have gone from feeling very confident to someone whose opinions are worth very little in the home. I don't know what to do about my own situation but I do have a friend who was in a similar position as you and she has returned to the UK with her daughter and has changed her address and phone no. Their divorce has recently gone through (she filed here in the UK). Her ex says he has no idea how to contact her…she occassionally calls him so he can speak to his daughter but will not tell him where they are living or any contact no.
October 10th, 2010 at 4:16 pm
Hi, message for Cindy, Alex..
Im currently starting up a divorce in Turkey. Im australian and hes turkish (we both have dual now) and have a baby together. Hes filing for divorce and has already taken the child to his mothers and they let me see him a little each day. Im filing for tempory custody and think i have a good feminst lawyer but would love people who have gone through this to talk too. Im so lost without my baby and need to know the smartest way to get him back? Has any forgien woman got her childs custody and returned to her country after a turkish divorce?
October 10th, 2010 at 4:28 pm
Hi everyone.
I also am in a similar situation, although I trusted my husband and he has now taken our baby and has filed for divorce and is staying with his mum. im allowed to see him but im now filing for temporty custody and then full custody. Im just wondering if any forigen woman has ever won custody and then moved to her country with the child? Im trying to be strong but I too am very alone and just not sure how long i can stay here without being with my husband to go through what seems will be a horrible divorce. Any women in a similar situation please contact me – think we all need support.
October 13th, 2010 at 7:30 pm
ive been married to a turkish man for 6 years and now he so be with themays he needs to marry a kurdish lady because he needs a child as i cant give him 1… ive now come back to the uk broken hearted, i still love him but our marriage is over, but i still want to live in turkey and he says if i go back he will still take care of me, i really want to go back but how do i trust him, as my 2 dogs are there and i want to be with them. also can he marry again without me signing for a divorce. jackie
October 21st, 2010 at 6:13 pm
I married a turk in Altinkum 6 years ago and flew home to england the same night of the marriage. He followed 6 months later on a spousal visa. He lived off me for 4.5 years until after me paying for a few visas he got his british passport and deserted 6 weeks later. Leaving me to pay for all the bills and loan that I had taken out to set his business up. He was sending all his money to his mum in turkey. We had no row, he just diappeared and sent an email to say he was in holland. He now wants a divorce and to bleed me dry. I do not come under turkish law as we did not reside as husband and wife in turkey and i was not a turkish citizen. So now i have no clue as to how i stand legally with the divorce and if in fact i am legally married as my husband took the book with him.We also never went to Izmir to register after as i flew directly back to uk…..Loz
October 22nd, 2010 at 10:04 pm
Hi im now divorced from my turkish husband can sum 1 please tell me how to get a divorce certificate.he has got it but wont give it to me any way of getting another 1
October 24th, 2010 at 9:35 am
Hello,
I married Turkish man in 2006, he came to Canada 18 months later on permanent resident visa. He has been frugal with me financially and I've paid our living expenses for the past 3 years. He will pay a bill once in awhile and that is it. He insists on never sharing anything financial with me. Last week I found much evidence of his infidelity via photos and contact with some of the foreign women he cheated with online and visited during our marriage. As well, I believe he lied about not having a nika marriage. Before we married I questioned him on this and he insisted no. I have found photos that prove he has family in Turkiye; nika wife and 1 or 2 children. (continued, next message)
October 24th, 2010 at 9:37 am
As well, he has been mentally abusive with me for the past 2 years and I have been pushed to the point of yelling at him, I believe he has been taping me. He has/had a business in Turkiye. He told me that a few months ago he signed it over to another family member without any consultation with me. What are my rights and how do I pursue divorce proceedings that reflect the deceit and what I entail as exploitive intentions to begin and end with. The day I found all the pictures I asked him to leave our home, he now plans to return to Turkiye. Thanks for your direction.
October 26th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Hi,
I have heard that that law is just to protect against pregnacy. If you get tested and are not pregnant then you are allowed to marry.
October 26th, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Hi Kelebek,
Im in a very similar situation with my husband becoming a different person after having children. I really want to speak to other women living with Turkish husbands and having troubles. Please contact me if your in Istanbul and wish to meet privately.
October 26th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Hi Lisa,
Id really love to speak to you – not sure how we do that privately but if you message me back Im sure we can work it out. I really need some support of people who understand Turkish husbands.
November 8th, 2010 at 2:34 am
My question is somewhat related. I am involved with a Turkish man but he is still married. He has tried for 10 years to get a divorce but his wife is declining and refusing the divorce. He and I were advised by an Imam, that we could get a religious wedding and live together and that Turkish law no longer bans this, and that we would not be punished with a jail sentence. Is this true?
November 8th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
I love my turkish boyfriend very much and we have a 16 month baby together. ive met all his family and he sends me money for her and looks after us really well when we are over there. Now ive come back 2 the uk we r trying 4 a holiday visa but not having much luck, and takes forever all the information they need so we have decided to get married as its a quicker way 2 b 2gether as we r sick of waiting and theres no gaurentee he will be granted and we both want him here for xmas. The only thing is im a mum and what do we do best WORRY! Im worried that once we are married he will take her to live in turkey and that would kill me! I do trust him , but im just thinking if we ever fell out what he might do. Can any1 give me any advise on past experience thankyou x
December 5th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
i need help, i have been married to my turkish husband for 2 and half years, he's been living here with me for 2. we are both same age. he just got his indefinate last week and today he walked out on me with a text message.
i have just sold a house i owned before i met him, do i have to give him half the profit, he cheated on me twice during our marriage
i need to divorce him
December 9th, 2010 at 10:00 am
I have the same story really, now desperatly need helpa. I married in turkey,it was a violent horrible marraige,the usually by the sounds of it, I fled back to uk 2.5 years ago.after getting strong started my divorce.now I’m stuck and please I need advice.I need my marriage book for the divorce,bt he has it and won’t give it.how can I get a copy?my turkish firend went to the nufas daire for me but they said I have to go in person they won’t give it anyone else.I can’t go in person,I can never enter that country again.I should of took it,but I just ran with our daughter and never looked back. Please please someone help me
December 17th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
i was married to a turkish man for 3 years. we are now seperated. i would give everything i had to divorce him but the ugly pig has taken my red mariage book. they seem to be very clever at knowing what to take and that. i hate him more than i could ever explain. i am now with a man who treats me lovely so ive kinda moved on in that sense but i could never marry until im divorced from this vile piece of scum. anybody got any suggestions as to how i can obtain a copy of this red book. somebody told me you can get a certified copy from the consulate in london. is this true ? thanks for any suggestions !!
December 17th, 2010 at 3:58 pm
hi angela do u have facebook ???
December 21st, 2010 at 9:24 am
LORNA!! I was the same as you, but with my daughter,she’s was 4months old,and she was born in turkey. You have every right to take your son, and once your in UK you are safe.its very very difficult for them to legally take the child,as they have to do it through uk law,which after hearing your marriage they’d opt for mother anyway, but firstly hed have to pay lost of money,apply to uk court,legally,he don’t really have a leg to stand on. Now in turkey the laws changed and children under 12 go to mum,over go to dad.unless he proves he’s more finiancial secure than you and able to give your son a better life. A fear in turkey tho is if he has some family take your son,and I’ll be blunt,it would be near on impossible to track him. My advice to you, run. Pack all ur important doc, as birth, marriage cert etc,few personal items. Sort a flight when he’s at work, that’s what I done, then run. Biggest relief in your life when that plane reaches UK. I did it, and so gratefull that I did it then, before it was to late. Goodluck
January 1st, 2011 at 10:42 pm
i married a turk in 2001 he was lovely forthe first 3 years the last 3 years have been hell, he claims to have a curse on him, talks to him self, hits him self, been violent to me, takes pictures of his own man hood and puts on face book, down loads, 1-1 ladies bits it is so humilitating i want a divorce can this be done in the uk or do i have to go back to turkey, i was married in istanbul and have the international red book please can some advise me thank you
January 3rd, 2011 at 11:15 pm
I am separated from a Turkish man, but luckily, I have my red marriage license. You need to go to the Turkish Embassy and explain the situation. I too have moved on in the sense that I have met a fantastic guy, Thankfully, my soon to be ex has agreed to a divorce. You can also get a power of attorney with a solicitor and they will more or less do the rest for you. The embassy will be able to help you but just be insistent that they help you otherwise they do have a habit of string it a long a bit. Good luck though and I hope it all works out for you.
January 3rd, 2011 at 11:18 pm
If a red marriage certificate from Turkey has wrong information on it – i.e. both people having the same date of birth written on there when it isn't actually the case, is the marriage still legal?
January 4th, 2011 at 9:54 am
You can do this from England. I am in a very similar situation at the moment. You can either give a power of attorney to a solicitor who will take care of everything for you or you can to the Consulate in London and ask them to produce a document stating that you want a divorce and then you can use a solicitor over in Turkey. All documents from the Consulate have to be with a photograph though.
If he agrees to a divorce it should be a fairly quick procedure but if he doesn't then be prepared for it to be a long haul. Hope I have helped a little. Good luck
January 4th, 2011 at 9:56 am
Of course he can apply to divorce her in Turkey on irreconcilable differences for example. This may not be a quick procedure though so be prepared for a wait.
January 4th, 2011 at 10:00 am
You will be ale to get a copy from the court that divorced you. They will take a small fee. You should have been sent all the documents concerning the divorce. They usually send the documents to both parties
January 12th, 2011 at 1:38 am
i am forigner got married with turkish citizen in my country' after 2 years my spouse parents forced me to do divorce. but i dont want to get divorce beacuse my wife is mentally sick and bipolar diorder and she hearing voices and she speaking alone with walls. i love her so much but her mother insist my wife that get divorce. i wanna give time to my wife that its no a kids play. so plz help me
January 15th, 2011 at 6:17 am
I am a south african citizen. If I want to marry a Turkish citizen in Turkey, do I have to wait 300 days after my divorce – the SA law permits marriage after divorce immediately.
February 14th, 2011 at 11:25 am
I married a turkish man in 2009 we have been together for 6 years he did not give me full turkish wedding as he said we will do signature get visa then cum bk turkey an have rest of wedding this last year he has gone so horrible he call me such bad names he does wat he wants go where he wants he hates my mother who sticks up for me which he dnt like he is always threating me if u dont come here alone i wil divorce you i have found pictures of him an girls he is now telling me he can divorce me from turkey without my concent is this true? i have tried asking home office consolates an no 1 will reply to me can any1 help me thanks stephanie
March 18th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
Hi im in scotland and my husband is in turkey and wondering about divorce he tells me i have to go out there and do the divorce but i feel threatened to go back is there no way i can do it over here .. without us seeing eachother ???
March 21st, 2011 at 3:01 am
I am an english woman currently separated from my turkish husband and awaiting divorce proceeedings. Is he still eligible to apply for british citizenship, and after how long???
March 22nd, 2011 at 9:51 pm
I have written on this site several times over the last two years and come back to read the sad and confused accounts of women who are often in dreadful marriages/partnerships.
I have been in contact with a London/Turkish newspaper and the edtor is willing to interview women who are finding themselves in unacceptable situations. We need non judgemental support and advice.
Please go to Facebook and find
ANTALYA RESIDENTS SUPPORT GROUP.
IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE IN A DIRE SITUATION PLEASE PASS ON THE ABOVE. All information gathered is confidential and will not be passed on without your consent.
Alex.